


Nocturne

by Kittywu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Jearmin Week, M/M, Prompt: Lucid Dream, This takes place during chapter 8 if you didn't guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1956963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywu/pseuds/Kittywu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So how could he be holding hands with Armin if not in a dream?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nocturne

**Author's Note:**

> This is set during the events of [Moonlight Sonata](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1103789/chapters/2220512).  
> But then again, it completely stands on it's own since it's just a really quick and short drabble.  
> Inspired by Chopin Nocturne No. 9 and Daydreamer by Adele.

_This is not real._

It was a sudden realization but the only explanation. It had started at the lake, just him and Armin like so many times already but this time, they were so close to each other. Closer than usual. Armin’s shoulder was pressed against his side, and his long blond hair tickled the bare skin on Jean’s neck.

He didn’t mind it though. He liked the way that Armin’s sweet scent lingered in the air – there was a faint hint of chocolate and Jean grew fonder and fonder of it. Armin’s body heat was welcome in the cold November night. And in the end, it was Armin.

The full moon didn’t reflect in the calm surface of the lake for once, a white and shining layer of ice covered it. And it felt like time stood still.

But this was not the reason that Jean figured that this scene couldn’t be real. Not because he had to admit to himself that he broke his own promise, that he had let the blond boy get closer to him than anyone else. That he didn’t want to imagine a single day without the other anymore. Not because the stars looked brighter than they ever had. And definitely not because the blue of Armin’s eyes was just too vibrant.

It was because he found himself carefully moving his hand towards Armin’s bare hand. He gently brushed his against the smaller one and then hold onto it. Fingers intertwined, he felt how Armin’s hand slowly got a little bit warmer. And Armin didn’t withdraw his hand. He didn’t tense up. He just turned his head towards Jean and smiled a gentle smile.

_It must be a dream._

There was no way this would be happening in reality. The truth was as clear as the winter sky, there was no doubt. Armin liked Eren more than just as a childhood best friend. That was why he was so bothered with the stress they had lately. He didn’t dare to ask if there already was more than friendship between the one person he could barely tolerate and the person for whom he cared more than anything. If the answer had been yes, it would have been his death sentence. Before ripping his own heart into pieces, he preferred not to know at all.

_So how could he be holding hands with Armin if not in a dream?_

It sure wasn’t his first time to dream of Armin. He had dreamed countless times of running his fingers through the silk like blond hair, to listen to him play or sing even if he didn’t enjoy classical music at all, and sometimes even just of the comforting presence of his best friend. Because that was all he could get. When he woke up, the room usually felt colder than it should, like something was missing.

But he had never known that the scene was a dream. So he had never dared to do something as brave as holding the other one’s hand.

_If this was just a dream, he could even dare to do more than just holding Armin’s hand…_

So he moved his other hand to the cold cheek of Armin, placing it carefully between his soft lips and his fine jawline. His hands trembled a little as he pulled Armin in for a kiss. He was afraid he would wake up if he made the wrong move, that everything would be over as soon as their lips would meet. Or even worse, that Armin would reject him in this dream. But he didn’t.

Armin just tightened his grip on Jean’s hand and put his free hand on Jean’s neck. Goosebumps remained on his skin where Armin’s soft palm touched him. His hand moved upwards towards the base of Jean’s hair. The places not touched by Armin felt so cold, like they were deprived of the heat that was the other’s palm.

When their lips parted, he looked into the vibrant blue eyes in front of him and his lips turned into a smile.  
“I’ve waited for you to do this, Jean”, the small blond whispered, words as thin and fragile as glass.  
“Finally, I’m brave enough to tell you how I feel for you. Even if it’s just a dream”, he heard himself say. It didn’t feel like he was really speaking, it was like hearing his voice from a recording.  
Armin just pressed another gentle kiss onto his lips in response. “I love you, Jean.”

_Why is this only a dream?_

As he woke up, he turned himself onto his stomach. He felt like screaming into his pillow. He had hoped that maybe this dream could have lasted a little longer. He reached for his phone and was surprised when he realized it was past six and that his ten minute nap had turned into a two hour sleep. But he was glad that it had.

On the screen, he read the name that always made him smile.

**I did something incredibly stupid. Do you have time to talk? Like now? Could be over in 10. Actually I’m already on my way.**

Jean wasn’t sure how he would be able to face the real Armin after that dream, but he had to. He tried to fix his bedhead while texting the other one back.

**No problem. Do you want to go to the lake?**

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah it takes place right before the final scene of chapter 8.


End file.
